Question of the night: Will I be successful?? (Time 100 or Top Tiger of the Month)

At some point today, the day turned into one of those introspective days that we all get. The days where you start to wonder what the hell you are doing or what your place is in this whole scheme of things. I should of course preface by stating that I have lived a very wonderful, amazing, and fortunate life up till this very moment and beyond. I am married to the most spectacular, caring, loving, and kind person I have ever met. I have friends who believe in me and support me (for the most part), and a family that is right behind me every step of the way. In the practical sense, I have been successful through this point and know that if life continued down the path that it is taking, I will be very happy and confident in the meaningful actualities that I have accomplished.

I guess where my rambling thoughts come from tonight are based more in the superficial. The glamorized, eye-popping version of success. This of course brings forth a very difficult debate as to what the actual definition of superficial success is? It is my belief that true inter-personal and emotional success comes from making an impact on the individual level; friends, family, loves, and self-understanding. But from the superficial, the question is a bit harder to answer. Is success based on fame, money, acknowledgment or publication? Is a tabloid darling more superficially successful because he/she is photographed and paid large sums of money for appearances or is the working person that has actually accomplished something tangible more successful in the scheme of things?

For me: I have always wanted to be known in some capacity. I think this stems from my hidden narcissism which I wrote about a few blogs ago. This relates to why I used to anchor (or co-anchor) my high school's television station, very slightly why I am in this career path of mine (the overall reason is of course because of my love for film) and maybe even to a degree why I am writing this blog. When annual articles come out like the Time 100 I always squirm a little wondering what I can accomplish that will one day make me memorable or even recognized as a neat trivia fact. For example I learned today that the creator of the television series Scrubs is an alumnus of my high school. In the actual concept of true emotional and personal success this is almost meaningless, but it is pretty damn cool none-the-less. And when thinking about the Time 100 for example, 100 people is .00003% of the U.S. population (assuming they are all Americans, which I am sure they are most likely not.) Even if 100 new people are chosen each year and the population doesn't change, that is only .003% of the population over 100 years! The point here is that this is extremely rareified air and one which does not come to the 99.99997% of the American population. Yet there is still that feeling as to why those specific people were able to make the list and what choices they made that allowed them to reach that point and separate themselves from all others.

In certain instances, I use networking sites like Linkedin or even marginally Facebook/Myspace, etc to see what others that I know have been able to accomplish and wonder where our paths will be 10/20/30 years down the line. In the end, who will be the one that will be able to proclaim the most accolades and who in truth will be the happiest. I think at the end of the day, the winner will probably be the person with the happy, healthy, and loving family, but alas that isn't sexy enough for this superficial version of glamorized success.

I guess ultimately, feeling like this is good from the sense that it drives me to do my best and not settle for simply average. Of course it also brings moments like this at the end of the day where I question if I will be able to take that next leap. I should also add that this especially relevant when I am unemployed, heavily searching for my next gig, and left with way too much to think about nonsense like this.

In the end, I know I am very happy with what I have accomplished and what I have in my life currently. I just have that little glowing orb of energy, which I am sure we all do, that wants to break through and accomplish something different, unique, and memorable----even if it is as trivial and worldly-unimportant as creating a TV series. Till that day comes and you read about me from a pen other than my own, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars! (BAM!! Casey Kasem and Coolio shoutouts in back-to-back blogs. Aww Yeah!) Alright then...I will blog with you later.

-Nice Guy-